By Brad Browning
From The Ex Factor Guide
If you can’t tell for sure if you’re over analyzing your ex’s behavior, then check this out:
The Ex Factor Guide
Is It Hopeless? When to Give Up Trying to Get Your Ex Back
Most relationships can be salvaged. Even months after a bad breakup, most people still have a very good shot at winning back their ex.
Sadly, there are some cases where it really is just a lost cause.
Thankfully though, it’s rare that I receive an email from somebody whose situation is truly hopeless but it does happen occasionally.
Quite frankly, it’s just not healthy to spend the rest of your life chasing after somebody who simply isn’t interested in being with you, so at some point, you will need to move on if you aren’t having any luck.
I’ll give you some tips that should help you decide when it’s time to give up and get on with your life.
Before I get into that though, here’s some good news…
There’s no On and Off switch when it comes to getting back together with your ex.
Deciding it’s time to move on, doesn’t mean you’re shutting the door to that option forever.
But let’s just be clear, if the situation becomes grim and your odds of success do appear very slim, I do think there comes a point where it’s time to move on.
But just because you stopped actively trying to get him back, doesn’t mean that it can’t happen down the road.
Sure, you may choose to stop reaching out to your ex and let go of the dream of getting back together but you can still say yes if he or she happens to phone you up one day, you know, ask him to give your long-lost love a second chance.
Essentially, what I’m saying is that you could stop trying to get your ex back without actually ruining any shot that ever happening.
Okay, so that’s the good news.
Now let’s move on and talk about some of the things you should consider when trying to decide if you should give up and move on.
#1. How Long Has It Been?
There’s no magic formula to determine how long is too long when it comes to reuniting with your ex.
I’ve had clients get back together with an ex they broke up with years ago. And in many cases, time can actually be helpful as it allows your ex to forgive and forget and gives you a chance to start over with a clean slate.
On the other hand, humans are naturally designed to conquer adversity and sorrow so your ex won’t spend the rest of their life thinking about you and dreaming about the happy times you had together, they’ll move on.
For the first few months after your breakup, your ex will definitely feel the pain and loneliness just like you are. But if it’s been many months or even a year then those feelings will begin to fade and that will hurt your chances obviously of winning them back.
If you and your ex are just rolling together for a few months and the relationship wasn’t particularly serious then you probably only have a window of 2 or 3 months in which you’ll be able to realistically win him or her back.
I know this all sounds really technical and complicated but if you watch the full-length video here, I’ll explain everything you need to know about the subject.
Now on the other hand, if you were married for years or your relationship was very serious and you spent a long time together then you may be able to win back your ex after months or even years apart.
Essentially, the longer you and your ex were together, and the more serious the relationship was, the more time you have to win the back.
#2. Have You Kept in Touch?
How much time has passed since your breakup goes hand in hand with the other issue… how much contact have you had with your ex?
If you and your ex continue to be, you know, on and off, and you’ve spoken regularly since the breakup (which by the way I don’t recommend it at all) then the amount of time that’s passed since your initial breakup will matter less than if you haven’t spoken at all.
If your ex hasn’t taken the initiative to contact you for weeks or even months then that’s not a good sign.
On its own, not hearing from your ex doesn’t mean you should give up all hope at all. But if your ex isn’t trying to keep in touch or hasn’t taken any steps to reach out with you then that’s definitely not a positive sign.
#3. Did the Relationship End Badly?
Some breakups are the result of major issues you know, cheating, excessive jealousy, constant fighting, verbal or physical abuse and so on.
If any of these major issues were the case of your breakup or if the last weeks and months of your relationship were plagued with fights and bitterness then your ex isn’t probably going to be eager to get back together.
Obviously, any relationship that ends in a breakup had some problems or also wouldn’t have collapsed in the first place.
But if a significant event like cheating was the root cause of the break-up then trust can be permanently ruined and rebuilding a healthy relationship again may not ever be possible if at all.
In my program, the Ex Factor Guide, I’ve included something that I called a clean slate email.
This is an email template you can send to your ex to help get over some of these problems and erase any damage you may have done in the later stages of your relationship or since the breakup.
#4. Was Your Relationship That Great To Begin With
This is another thing that many people fail to consider when they’re trying to get their ex back.
I won’t go into depth on this as I made another video about it, but what you need to ask yourself is whether or not your relationship was awesome enough that you should even be trying to salvage it.
Most of the time, if you are trying to win back your ex, then you obviously had a good connection with that person and your love was real.
But if your relationship was never that great to begin with…
If your love wasn’t as strong as it should have been, or things never really clicked the way they should…
Or if you have an unhealthy relationship…
Then your ex has probably realized that and he won’t be too interested in trying to fix it.
#5. Is Your Ex with Someone New?
If your ex jumps into another relationship shortly after your breakup, then you shouldn’t panic because it’s probably just a rebound and it won’t last.
But if time has been ticking by and your ex seems happily wrapped up with someone new, then your odds of winning them back we’re going to drop by a significant margin.
Now, I do occasionally receive emails from folks who say that their ex has recently remarried…
And to be blunt, that’s a sure sign that you need to quit dreaming about winning this person back and move on with your life.
If your ex is engaged or married, then it’s time to give up.
Again, don’t panic if you happen to hear your ex is dating somebody new, or when you see photos of your ex on Facebook with his or her arms around someone else… it’s not the end of the world.
But, if they have been in a relationship with someone else for months and things appear to be getting serious, then it’s probably time for you to start thinking about moving on.
There are a number of other factors to consider when you’re trying to gauge your odds of getting back together with your ex and I’m sure your situation isn’t clear-cut.
So, if you’d like a second opinion you can sign up for my personal coaching service. You can also watch the video below…
Video: Secrets To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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