By Mirabelle Summers
Author of Get A Great Guy Guide
If you want genuine men and not just any man, this will challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story, check this out…
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How Do I Know He’s Mr Right? 5 Questions To Ask Yourself
Wow. I just received this really heartfelt email from Lucy from North Carolina, and decided I had to share her story and my reply with you, as this is something we ALL need to know.
Lucy’s story really touched me because I realised as I was reading that so many women (including myself) have faced the same problem: how do you know if a guy is truly right for you?
“Hi Mirabelle.
My name is Lucy. I’m a 39 year old woman with two kids who has been divorced for about 5 years now.
Over the last two years I’ve finally worked up the courage to start dating again. I have seen a number of guys over that time but have found that most were either just wanting casual sex rather than a relationship, or were too self-absorbed and immature to handle the thought of children.
I had almost given up on men altogether after being hurt and disappointed so many times, but then I met Mike.
Mike and I met at the dinner party of a mutual friend, and although I wasn’t looking for anything we instantly hit it off.
Mike seems to be everything I’ve been looking for: he always lets me know he cares about me, he’s great with the kids, we both enjoy tennis and we have had several romantic nights out.
But my experience with the last few men has left me doubting my judgment and wondering if my perfect image of Mike is really just me looking through rose-coloured glasses.
Please help me – how do I know if he’s the right one?”
Hi Lucy,
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
I can tell you now that you are absolutely not alone in feeling like this – it can be so hard to know whether a man is really all that he seems to be, especially when we have had bad experiences in the past.
Unfortunately, there is no hard-and-fast answer to whether a man is right for you, as only YOU know how being with your man makes you feel.
However, there are characteristics to always look for when working out whether a man will make a good relationship partner. Dr Ali Binazir, author of the bestselling ‘The Tao of Dating’, has some great advice on how to spot good men from the bad.
Today I will be breaking down 5 of Dr Binazir’s ‘good guy’ traits to look out for, so that you can tell if the man you are seeing is worth trusting with your heart.
Lucy: If Mike does have all of all of these qualities, as well as being incredibly attractive to you, sharing some of your interests (such as tennis), and having similar life views, this is a very good indication that he just may be your Mr Right.
Read below and ask yourself these questions. Be honest, because making excuses for a man is only being unfair to yourself. You deserve the whole package.
1. Does he have a sense of purpose?
Having a sense of purpose in life shows that a man is mature, motivated and knows where he wants to go in life. A man with a sense of purpose is much more likely to know what he wants in a partner and be more committed to a relationship.
Lucy: Think about what Mike has achieved in life. Is he proud of what he has achieved? Does he have goals for the future? What is he doing to work towards these goals?
Answering these questions should give you a good indication of whether Mike has a sense of purpose and direction in his life.
2. Is he humble?
When a man is humble about his achievements and attributes, it shows that he does not always put himself at the centre of the universe and can recognize and value the contributions of others.
If your man is humble, he will be quietly confident and may downplay his achievements. He will take interest in others and praise them on their efforts.
Lucy: Think about your conversations with Mike.
Does he boast about his achievements or does he tend to minimize these? Does he spend more time talking about himself or about you? Does he accept both winning and losing with grace?
3. Is he trustworthy?
A trustworthy man can be relied on to follow through with his plans and promises. He will speak his true thoughts and make you feel safe and secure.
Lucy: Does Mike follow through with what he says he will do? Does he answer personal questions openly and honestly rather than trying to dodge or avoid them?
If the answer to both of these is yes, this is a good indication that Mike is worthy of your trust.
4. Is he considerate?
Consideration is all about thinking of others and their needs. This involves being sensitive to how others are feeling, showing respect and helping people when you can.
Lucy: Is Mike generally well mannered? Does he regularly check in with how you are feeling and take the time to really listen? Does he always offer a hand? These are all definite signs of a considerate man.
5. Does he accept people for who they are?
The last trait we are going to look at is acceptance. It is important for a man to be able to accept himself and others the way they are, rather than always look for what could be changed.
Although self-improvement is great, a man who accepts himself will be generally very comfortable with who he is. He will also view others and their differences fairly. Most importantly, he will accept YOU for who you are, and not try to change you.
Lucy: Does Mike seem comfortable in his own skin? Does he compliment you on who you are, or make suggestions about what you could be? Is he tolerant of others and their differences?
All the best Lucy, I hope this has helped you to become more sure about whether Mike is the right man for you. If he does have all of these qualities, plus all the special things which make him attractive to you, then I can only imagine you two will have a very happy relationship.
To all the women out there who are facing the exact same problem as Lucy, use these questions as a guide for every man you consider dating, as we all deserve to have someone with every one of these qualities and more.
If, at the end of this article, you can honestly say that your man does have a sense of purpose, humility, trustworthiness, consideration and acceptance, then you can celebrate the fact that you have landed yourself a really great guy!
If you want genuine men and not just any man, let us challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story, check this out…
Free Video: Get A Great Guy Guide
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women!
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